In the book, Playing For Keeps, Reggie Joiner and Kristen Ivy have identified six things that every kid needs over time (Time, Love, Words, Stories, Tribes, Fun). In the next six weeks I will cover these topics in more detail.
I hear so many people say, “If I only had more time.” Is the problem the lack of time or is it the resistance to saying “no” to those personalities that are so persuasive? What consumes your time? (Work, hobbies, volunteering, facebook, household tasks, extra-curricular activities or one-on-one time with your kids?) Each of us has 24 hours every day to choose how we will spend it. How you spend your time makes a statement to your child about what you value. I heard a person say, “You can determine what you value by what you are willing to make sacrifices for.” What are you sacrificing to make it possible to spend more time with your kids? If I were to ask your kids how much time you spend with them each day what would they say?
Andy Stanley said, “Kids are experience rich but relationship poor. The future success of your kids does not depend on the experience of the ultimate (being picked for the starting team, being selected to be on the elite traveling team, singing in the top choir).” Your child’s future does not depend on being selected to be on any team, their future depends on three relationships: with you as a parent, with God, and with other Godly people. It takes time to build a meaningful relationship.
The next time you are asked to be involved with one more thing, please ask yourself before you say yes – “Am I spending enough one-on-one time with my child?” Here are some practical ideas of how you can spend time together: go on a bike ride, make a meal, watch a movie, go shopping, play catch, put a puzzle together, build a fort, go on a walk, etc. Communicating with your child is possible with some of these ideas but with others not. I would encourage you to find a balance of each. You will have to be intentional about spending more time together. Scheduling this time early in the day will help you to say no to all the other offers that come your way. Spending time with your child (a lot of time) is really important! When you spend a lot of time together your child will know what and who you value!